Delegated Parenting

“The Spolit Generation” a new book about families written by Dr Aric Sigman,  a Fellow of the Royal Society of Medicine and an Associate Fellow of the British Psychological Society, includes a chapter entitled “Delegated Parenting”. Here are some quotes:

“There is a vested interest in playing down differences between men and women and to regard mothers’ and fathers’ parenting styles as more interchangeable. This view also allows for a more ‘flexible’ labour market, whereby either Mother or Father can go out to work. And if you can get away with paying mothers less, the labour market may also become cheaper.”

“The whole affair has been reduced to comfy-speak and the issue has been falsely posed in terms of an ongoing ‘debate’ with equally valid ‘points of view’ infantilised with the name ‘the Mommy Wars’. But the language is all wrong, as it is concerned with the feelings of the parent, not the wellbeing of the child.”

“…[I was told] if you want to get your book published, remove any mention of mothers, daycare and child wellbeing- even if it’s true- or else say positive things about them.”

Have we become so self-centred that a truthful discussion is too dangerous, even when it involves the best interests of our own children?… If we are so concerned about sexism and being sensitive to women’s feelings about their choices, why must the negative feelings- the guilt- of some working mothers take precedence over boosting the feelings of stay-at-home mothers?”

“As someone once said: ‘The truth belongs to those who commission it.’ And stay at home parenting and Mother Nature don’t have an economic lobby group”

“There has been an exceedingly unhealthy aversion to discussion whether, and exactly how much, our children need their parents, particularly their mothers.”

“Society has been celebrating the liberation of women from her own evolutionary history instead of her unique, inherent, unrivalled power in advancing her child’s wellbeing.”

“Mothers talk about ‘going back to work’ after maternity leave, but in a sense there is no leave from maternity, as children’s need change in character but not in substance as they get older.”

“Parents everywhere can and should be made aware of the difference between sending their child to daycare centre at the age of six months as opposed to three years, and between their three year old going to daycare for nine hours a week as opposed to thirty five.”

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